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The Unspoken Process
Mindy Friedman, LCSW
“We’re back to square one.” Kayla says.
We’re talking about her fear of failure, how she parents from that place. We’re noticing it now as she telling me about her interactions with her children this week. A few of them complained to her these past few day, crying about their disappointments or challenges. She’s telling me how she couldn’t handle it, couldn’t stay calm and compassionate. She noticed how anxious their stories were making her.
“What does their complaining mean to you?”
She doesn’t know the answer at first, but then she says, “I’m failing them as a mother. I can’t protect them. I am not giving them all the skills they need.”
Oh, the fear of failure. The pain of not being enough.
It worries her because we’ve talked about her fear of failure when she first came for help with anxiety. We explored how her anxiety attacks are related to her discomfort around doing things wrong, being bad, and falling short. Our conversation then moved elsewhere, to other feelings and beliefs. Now, our session leads us back to her fear of failing.
I challenge her about being back to square one.
“No, not really. You can’t compare my anxiety levels to when I first started. Also, my feelings about myself are different.”
I nod. Of course, we’re not back to square one. We can’t be. Kayla’s work over months deepened her awareness of herself. She has more space for negative feelings. She has more compassion for herself and for others. Even when she falls, she can forgive herself more.
“Is it okay that you still have a fear of failure?” I ask.
“I guess so.”
That too changed. To be okay with our struggles is a huge part of the work.
That growth is hers to keep. She can’t be back at square one.
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Mindy Friedman offers relational IFS based therapy for women in Monsey, focusing on a deeper connection to self and others. She can be reached at mindyfriedmanlcsw@gmail.com. |
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Got A Handle On Pesach Cooking?
These Pots Make Handling Optional
Featured For: Small Spaces
We begin our Pesach cooking marathon full of hope and eager anticipation of the three dozen dishes we’re about to pull off for one week of the year. It’s the annual cooking show called “Who Can Make the Most Dishes Using 3 Basic Ingredients”. We sprint past the start line with the energy of a woman with Pesach‑to‑Pesach amnesia, and approximately four steps in, we realize that our Pesach kitchen (whatever that is in our home) can’t quite accommodate the number of pots and pans required for our grand cookoff. And cooking around a rotation schedule of three pots ends up being more of a slow trek than a sprint. So long, Pesach cooking. These dishes will once again be filed under ‘I wanted… I really did… But space said no.’
Before you drop out of the race, let me introduce you to the secret shortcut: Stackable Pots.
These pots are engineered for the Pesach reality most of us live in: limited cabinets, borrowed counters, and a fridge that’s never big enough. The genius is in the handles. They pop off completely, which means every pot and pan nests neatly into the next like a well‑behaved set of matryoshka dolls. No handles sticking out at odd angles. No cabinet avalanche when you open the door. No “why does this one pot take up the entirety of the fridge?” |
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And once your pots finally stack instead of sprawl, you’re no longer limited to that same three‑pot rotation. Now your full Pesach menu is back in play.
With the handles off, your entire cookware collection suddenly occupies the footprint of a single mixing bowl. For anyone cooking without a dedicated Pesach kitchen, that’s not only convenience—that’s redemption.
Pesach often hands us more than anyone can handle. These pots whisper: you don’t have to handle it all.
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Chicken Knaidlach
This classic Pesach recipe goes back generations and makes a filling addition to any soup you'll be serving over Yom Tov. The sautéed onions add lots of flavor, though it's delicious without them too.
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Photography & Styling Estee Schwimmer |
Ingredients
1 lb dark ground chicken
1 large potato, cooked
2 eggs
1 sautéed onion, optional
1 tsp salt
pepper to taste
Note: On Pesach, when you're working with limited ingredients, sautéed onions become your secret to adding deep flavor to every dish.
To make perfectly sautéed onions: Dice onions and place in a large pot over low heat. Cook until they soften and begin releasing liquid, about 10 minutes. Add salt and oil to taste. Continue cooking over low heat, stirring every few minutes to prevent burning, until the onions are soft, golden brown, and caramelized.
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Directions
- Mash the cooked potato until smooth, then add the remaining ingredients. Mix until well combined.
- Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Using wet hands, shape the mixture into tablespoon-sized balls. Drop into the boiling water a few at a time (don't overcrowd the pot). Cook for 4 minutes, then remove with a slotted spoon.
- These freeze beautifully. Freeze in a single layer on a baking sheet, then transfer to a freezer bag once frozen. Warm up together with soup.
Get the printable recipe here.
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How to play
Use all the letters from the given word to create the specified number of new words, each new word must use every letter exactly once |
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Example
- Given word: smile
- Challenge: find 3 words
- Answer: miles, slime, limes
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Given word: petal
Challenge: find 7 words
Look out for the answer in tomorrow’s edition
Yesterday's challenge: Currency that glows bright
Yesterday's answer: Sunny Money
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Steel is the world's most recycled material, with more steel recycled in North America annually than paper, plastic, aluminum, and glass combined. |
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The Seder Table Edit
By: Gitty Luria
Consider this your curated guide to a beautifully set—and beautifully functional—Seder table. From standout staples to clever little upgrades, these are our favorite picks that add a touch of thoughtful elegance to your Seder table.
1 KAARAH
This lucite‑and‑gold kaarah delivers an air of luxury at a fraction of the silver price tag, lending subtle grandeur to the Seder table without overpowering the rest of your setup.
2 KIDDUSH CUPS
These gold‑rimmed glass kiddush cups and saucers bring a clean, coordinated elegance to the Seder table. They’re also ideal for family members who don’t particularly enjoy sipping from traditional silver kiddush cups.
3 KOS SHEL ELIYAHU
A glass Kos Shel Eliyahu introduces refined charm to the Seder table without the silver price tag. It pairs beautifully with the glass kiddush cups for a cohesive, elevated look.
4 TABLECLOTH
This elegant tablecloth sets the tone for your tablescape with its beautiful detailing and timeless style. It's already lined for convenience and fully machine-washable for effortless upkeep. (See it styled in our Pesach recipe photos.)
5 MATZAH HOLDER
This acrylic-and-gold matzah holder keeps your matzos fresh, accessible, and safely tucked away from the inevitable spills that make their way across the Seder table.
6 VASES
With the Seder table often feeling visually overwhelming, these minimalist bud vases bring floral beauty without adding clutter. Each stem stands upright with the help of a hidden magnetic base tucked beneath the tablecloth, creating a light, effortless look that feels quietly magical.
7 NAPKINS AND 8 NAPKIN RINGS
Crisp white napkins are wrapped in agate napkin rings for instant, polished flair. The natural stone adds a sophisticated, organic touch that elevates each place setting and the table as a whole.
9 CHARGERS
A charger acts like a wide, rimmed placemat, creating a defined frame for each setting while quietly catching the inevitable wine overflow that comes with a lively Seder.
10 TOWELS
These plush, lace‑trimmed towels turn even the simplest washing basin into a thoughtfully styled washing station
11 BAR CART
A dedicated bar cart stores the Seder table overflow such as Haggados, afikomen bags, matzos, towels, and all the Pesach essentials that never fit on the main table.
Once the Seder begins, the night inevitably takes on a style of its own—usually something delightfully un‑curated. At least the tablescape will feel beautifully intentional… while it lasts.
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This adorable road set would make a great addition to any Magna-Tile collection. The perfect thing to add to your Pesach toy rotation.
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